Scratch that!

The girl i originally wanted to observe at Bent did not have reliable family contacts, so Professor Leavitt gave me another girl to work with. Her name is Jill and she is 17. I am really glad that I have a girl in HS because that is my area of concentration. It is SO hard to schedule times to meet with her because our schedules are so packed. But I finally made a shopping date with her on a Thursday night to buy shoes for her homecoming dance.


Thursday, October 12? 2006


Today was my first meeting with Jill. I drove to her house (she lives in a sub division) only to find that she wasnt home. Her little brother let me in and told me she would be home shortly. I waited for about three minutes when a slim, 5'6" brunette quickly walked up the sidewalk to the door. She came in and immediately smiled, revealing two rows of shiney silver braces. She apologized for being late, and explained that she had to drive her boyfriend to work. She stopped to catch her breath and was somewhat flustered. She continued to complain about her boyfriend's parents and the last minute scurry to get him to work on time. I told her everything was fine. She then asked, smiling/excitedly, if i wanted to see her homecoming dresses. She sprinted up the stairs, me close behind, to her room. She showed me her two options, and hadnt decided which one to wear yet (a black one and a white one). She did say, however, that her boyfriend liked the white one better. I was happily surprised at how comfortable and at ease she was around me.

Wearing our cheer sweatshirts and jeans, we said goodbye to her brother and headed out to the car. I offered to drive but she would have to give me good directions since I do not know my way around Bloomington so well. Jill and I drove to the mall and several other locations in search of shoes. Most of our conversations were held in the car, so it was difficult for me to observe her body language or eye contact. I could, however, interpret the tone of her voice and the pauses between words and phrases.

The first topic of coversation was cheerleading, because we both have that in common. Jill, however, quit the team after her sophomore year. She mentioned that she was really happy that I was a cheerleader. Since I knew previously that she had quit the team due to conflict of interests with the other grils, I wanted to ask her about it. I asked Jill for the full reason why she quit something she enjoyed so much. She replied that she just didnt get along with the "preppy" girls because they were all about boys, parties, and drama. She said that this was all that the girls talked about during practice. Those things were not important in her life and she was uncomfortable being around those girls. She also said that her coach contributed to the problems, so she quit. When Jill was telling me this story, she seemed at ease telling the story, but did not reveal any specific incidences. Her tone of voice was consistent, but there were some pauses as she searched for the right words.

There were some points during our car ride that were silent, and I tried to start a conversation. At some points, I didnt say anything, waiting to see if Jill would initiate anything. She did not seem to be uncomfortable in the silence, and would either make another comment regarding our latest topic, or readily start up a new conversation with me.

When we arrived at the mall and started looking for shoes. She was very goal-orientated: she knew she needed shoes and didnt bother looking at anything else. She was aware of how much she wanted to spend and what type of shoes she wanted. She stated: "Im very picky about my shoes." While looking up and down the iles, I could clearly see the searching look in Jill's eyes and the disappointed frown on her face. We moved on to the next store where she intensely looked for the perfect pair. Semi flustered, she finally stumbled upon a perfect pair, but they were the wrong size. She was let-down but I told her to ask the sales woman to call another store. She politely and assertively asked the sales woman to call another store. Jill's face lit up when we discovered that another store nearby had the shoes in her size.

During the next car ride, we mainly talked about Jill's family and boyfriend. She was very open about her relationship with her boyfriend. He is a drummer and guitarist for 3 bands, and they have been dating for almost 2 years. He is also a member of her church youth group (they attend the same church) and attends Normal West HS with her. She said that her parents were fairly strict on her going to see his shows because they do not want her driving too far. I asked her who is more strict: her mom or her dad, and she said definitely her dad. ***She and her brother share a father, but her eldest sister has a different father*** I asked Jill how she and her brother get along considering they are so close in age (he is only about 1 year younger) and she said they get along fine, but sometimes he is "weird." She continued to describe an incident where her brother took some food upstairs that he wasnt supposed to; she told her parents because she was upset, and they didnt seem to mind. She felt that she was being treated unfairly and that her parents were more strict on her than her brother. (Jill was hesitant at first to describe the incident, but then began to talk quickly. )

Jill was pretty open with her thoughts and stories; she has been apart of case studies before. I wondered if she would try to give me information right off the bat, but our interactions were similar to that of an older and little sister. Jill does have an older sister (24) so maybe that is why she feels comfortable with me.

The last stop we made was at her boyfriend's work. Jill tentatively asked me in a hopeful tone if I wanted to stop and show her boyfriend the shoes she bought. I didnt mind so we drove to his work. She brought one white shoe in to show him. When we walked up, Jill was relaxed and happy to see her boyfriend. He was somewhat shy at first. They talked and I jumped in here and there, but Jill did not introduce me, and he didnt ask who I was, causing me to infer that maybe he already knew what I was doing with Jill. Her boyfriend was having a rough time with his parents and work. Jill offered to call his parents for him. She said this in a matter-of-fact tone. Immediately he told her not to call her parents. Again, she nonchalantly said she would call, but he did not want her to. After about 10 minutes, she said goodbye and we walked out of the store. Jill asked me if I had anywhere to be, and I told her that I did have a meeting to go to soon, so we headed home. As we drove home, I asked Jill about attending one of her youth group meetings. She explained that she meets with them once a week on Wednesday for dinner and a meeting. She really likes her youth pastor because he is young and relates well to the teens. She was more than happy to invite me to a meeting. When we arrived at her house, I thanked Jill for allowing me to spend time with her, and told her how much fun I had shopping with her. I also told her that I hope she has fun at her homecoming dance.


***I found it interesting that although Jill was very open with me about her family life and her boyfriend, the only females that she mentioned (Other than family members) were the cheerleaders that she did not get along with. Not once did she mention a "best friend" or a group of girls that she socializes with. I plan on asking Jill and observing her further to determine what other types of friendships she may have.